It's been a while… It has been so long that I forgot how I was writing my blogs back then. My life didn't change that much. Actually, it is getting worse.
The biggest problem of my life is the graduation project. Oh, God it is making me sick! I simply don't have any interest for the subject I am supposed to work on. One part of me saying that "come on, you came this far. You are nearly finished. One last push!" and other part of me saying "oh no, don't do it. You have never done something you don't like in your entire life. F\*ck it!". So I am wasting my time each term with the dilemma I just described. I really don't know what to do. This thing is f'ed up.
Second biggest problem is I live in Turkey. I feel like all my friends somehow get rid of this sh\*thole and I am locked here. I use Twitter and Reddit to consume daily news and almost everyday I encounter something that make me say "F\*ck me, why I am still here? There is no hope". Actually, the situation was much worse while I was following pages that shares "street interviews". At first I started watching them *for fun* but the stupidity of people was real and harming my mental health. Since that day, I started consuming only news. My experience got better but I feel like it is still affecting me in a bad manner because everyday something bad happens and there is not much I can do to fix. Today, I decided to delete Twitter and Reddit. I'll see how it goes.
I am living with my parents for the past 6 months, I break up with my girlfriend, I left the place I was working. Man, this could be the worst year of my life!
You know what? I am not gonna give up. *"… It ain't about how hard you get hit. It's about how hard you get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward…"* No, seriously things really will be different for me in 2023 I can feel it. I learn from my mistakes, they are making me even more perfect :D I love myself, I got this.
